“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe
Kiss the Sky

ninetynineno:

sylphoftime:

i think it’s funny how christianity made a big deal about mary being impregnanted by god and everyone was like “oh my god the son of god! we must worship him listen to his great wisdom.” 

meanwhile, if you said god knocked you up in ancient greece they’d just be like “yeah, me too.”

Okay, I laughed.

comcasting:

My grandpa texted for the first time in his life today and he spit straight wisdom out of the keyboard

koobaxion:

Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn’t too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like “hey… i think… i died… and now I’m in a parallel universe… and i gotta go back to my house and kill…